Have you ever thought about putting things up your butthole? If your grandpa Rick asked you to take some seeds and put them waaaaay up inside your butthole, would you? Like way up inside there, as far as they can fit?
We dare you to listen to your grandpa Rick and take this official Threadheads x Rick and Morty merch and put 'em waaaaay up inside your butthole. You’re young. Your anal cavity is still taut yet malleable. You gotta do it for grandpa. You gotta put this merch up your butt.
Welcome to Threadheads (Dimension C-137). Your Rick And Morty shirts have landed.
Okay, let’s clarify one thing—definitely don’t put our Rick and Morty hoodies up your butthole. Heck—don’t put them anywhere near your butt. You should be wearing them on your torso. Unless, of course, you’re using your Rick and Morty hoodies as a cushion because that makes sense.
All our garments—tees, hoodies, sweaters, and more—are super comfy. Think hot water bottles on your forehead. Think rubbing a cashmere wall. Think getting a cuddle from 10,000 Snuffles taped together into one giant Snuffles.
Now. Give grandpa a kiss in our official Threadheads x Rick and Morty merch. Lips if you want. Whatever you're comfortable with. Some cultures do that.
Will you fall in love with this Rick and Morty merch?
We’re as confident as Rick when he turned himself into a pickle to avoid family counselling that you’ll love our Rick and Morty merch.
But if you have the same nihilistic attitude as our favourite lanky, blue-haired, Hispanic-American man, chances are you probably think that love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.
Sure, Rick may be right. Your love might slowly fade, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. But won’t a failing marriage look better in a Rick and Morty sweater? We’re not implying that your marriage will fail, but we’re just saying you’d look mighty tasty at your divorce proceedings in a Rick and Morty sweater.
Anyhoo, don’t think about it. Don’t even consider it. Just look straight into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and say, "Yes, daddy. Please!" to our Rick and Morty sweaters.
Rick and Morty is your guide to life. Let’s get Schwifty!
Kayla Cobb from Decider described Rick and Morty as a ‘never-ending fart joke wrapped around a studied look into nihilism.’ And she hit the nail on the head. When you scratch beyond the toilet humour, raunchy jokes, and Mr Nimbus wanting to have threesomes, there is a deeper meaning to Rick and Morty.
There’s so much more than meets the eye.
Rick and Morty embodies our never-ending quest to find meaning and purpose in our lives. Rick is unapologetically Rick. He’s accepted that he has no control over his existence, so he pursues his life unabashed, unafraid, and with an anal cavity that has experienced its fair share of large seeds.
And, so, there’s a lesson in Rick and Morty. It's a lesson that we might just be floating around in the cosmos, not knowing what we’re doing, but it’s up to find meaning in our lives—not to do what society tells us to do. And you may as well learn this lesson in a Rick and Morty t-shirt.
Take a hot funeral selfie, shout these Rick and Morty quotes and raise your father’s cholesterol in your Rick and Morty t-shirt
Rick and Morty is a goldmine for iconic one-liners. So it would be remiss of us not to share some of our favourite Rick and Morty lines. And it would be careless of you not to shout these quotes at the top of your lungs every time you wear a Rick and Morty t-shirt.
What’s the point of buying exclusive Threadheads x Rick and Morty sweaters if you’re not going to get Rickety-Rickety-Wrecked son?
What is love?
- "I want that docking kind of love. Like penis in the foreskin kind of love."
- "Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”
Offend your son-in-law
- "I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, but life is made of little concessions."
- "Scientifically, traditions are an idiot thing."
Raise your father’s cholesterol
- “Honey, stop raising your father’s cholesterol so you can take a hot funeral selfie.”
Offend your friendly neighbourhood magician
- "I don't do magic, Morty. I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eyeliner."
Fight the power (and have the willpower to put seeds in your butt)
- “I don’t like it here, Morty. I can’t abide bureaucracy. I don’t like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?”
- "You gotta do it for Grandpa, Morty. You gotta put these seeds inside your butt.”
What is life?
- "Listen to your sister, Morty. To live is to risk it all, otherwise you’re just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you. Oh, I’m sorry, Jerry, I didn’t see you there, how much of that did you hear?”
- "The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them. Smart people get a chance to climb on top, take reality for a ride, but it will never stop trying to throw you and eventually it will, there’s no other way off."
- "If we can kill our enemies, but we can't jack them off, then how are we better than them?"
- “Weddings are basically funerals with cake.”
Are you ready to get Schwifty? Take off your pants and your panties. Shit on the floor. Time to get Schwifty in here. Gotta shit on the floor in your Threadheads x Rick and Morty merch.
Rick and Morty facts for hardcore Rick and Morty fans
Could you write a Rick and Morty episode this quickly?
Rick and Morty’s pilot was written in just six hours. Wowza.
Would your band rock Rick and Morty shirts?
Rick, Bird Person and Squanchy were in a rock band called “The Flesh Curtains.” The Flesh Curtains. That is all.
What’s in Rick’s flask?
While we’d like to think that Rick is sipping on some kind of marinated alien juice infused with seasonal gin, we can’t be sure. Rick and Morty’s co-creator Dan Harmon assumes it’s vodka. Hopefully, it’s infused with Pickle Rick’s pickle excrement and Zigerion tears.
Alright. Wubba lubba dub dub. Shum shum slippedy dop. Start shooting your portal guns at these official Threadheads x Rick and Morty shirts, hoodies, and more.